A Good Beginning Is Never Too Late

Gita wends her way to the college more assiduously than before, her passion for education has compounded as she has found a purpose, her life now holds promises of better prospects. She has realized that it is necessary to break the culture of silence to shape her future. The girl who once dropped out of college, now numbers among few girls who maintain 100% attendance in classes. The transformation of her attitude and approach is an inspiring tale for other girls who bury their dreams as pressure from family weighs heavy and who never realize that submissive silence shatters more dreams.

Gita, 17 years of age, lives with her mother and elder brother in Baradaguda, a small tribal village under Bissam Cuttack block of Rayagada District. Like other families in the village, Gita’s family also relied on agriculture and forest products. However, the income generated from these always fell short to meet the bare needs of the family. The family embraced every opportunity to work as daily wage labourers which too were rare to add up to the family income. The untimely demise of her father years back, made the family vulnerable economically and Gita gradually became shy and submissive. As household chores and additional income were perceived dearer to studies, Gita became irregular in attending classes. Her regular absence from school soon drifted into her becoming a permanent drop-out. She bade adieu to her studies at higher secondary level. 

It was no surprise that Gita’s mother and brother started to search for decent proposals to get her married when she was hardly 17 years. Finally, they found a match for her and her marriage was all but fixed. Gita was left with no choices; she has to submissively accept what her mother and elder brother had decided for her.  She was even not consulted once, her opinions never mattered…an adult girl was considered to be a burden to the family. Her socialization was affected to an exceeding extent as she stopped going to college, and gradually she started isolating herself from her college going friends. The apprehension of ill effects of early marriage bothered her, but she had no one to share her concerns and thoughts with. 

When Ramadevi Kishori Dal, a group of adolescent girls was formed in the village, Gita joined the group reluctantly after repeated persuasion by Kishori Sathi (under ACEH programme). The adolescent girls convened a meeting every month in which issues of health, nutrition, gender discrimination, status of schemes and services meant for them were discussed. These meetings were conducted using the PLA (Participatory Learning and Action) approach and were facilitated through games, songs, storytelling, picture cards, activities, demonstration etc. In subsequent meetings, the adolescent girls discussed major issues like malnutrition cycle, benefit of working together, balanced diet, existing barriers for adolescent girls in the society, good practices and behaviour, menstrual hygiene and anaemia. The meetings provided easeful ambience to the adolescent girls to share their concerns. Gita gathered confidence as she realized that the group and Kishori Sathi would stand by her. During one of such meetings, she expressed her concerns that continued to haunt her for months. She said “I do not want to marry now. I know, at the age of 17-18, I am not physically and mentally matured for marriage. My health and mental condition will deteriorate after marriage and my life will be at high risk of being prone to anemia and other diseases. But I do not know how to oppose my mother and elder brother as they take all decisions in my home”. The Ramadevi Kishori Dal took the matter seriously and asked Gita to ensure her mother’s participation in the next parents’ meeting. 

Gita went home and persuaded her mother to attend the parents’ meeting. Her mother could not deny to Gita’s repeated pleas and she attended the meeting accompanied by Gita. Strategically, the Kishori Sathi emphasized on the harmful effects of early marriage during the discussion. After the meeting, Gita was advised by Kishori Sathi and other adolescent girls to speak to her mother that day about dropping the idea of her marriage at a tender age. They motivated her to be courageous and confident as it was a matter of her life. 

After reaching home, Gita broke free. She pleaded to her mother in a very polite way citing that early marriage could pose serious threats to her life. She also asked her mother if she wanted to see her child (Gita) in distress after marriage. Gita’s mother became emotional and she started to doubt the decision of Gita’s marriage. The bad effects of early marriage which were discussed during parents’ meeting began to reverberate in her mind. During this time her brother arrived and was shocked to hear about Gita’s pleading. He said it was not possible as the marriage has been fixed. For him it was a matter honour and reputation of the family. Gita’s mother interrupted her brother and said “Son, now I have understood, we were so much self-oriented that we hardly cared to take the opinion of Gita about her marriage. And in a way we are not cancelling the marriage, we are postponing it till she decides it is right time for her marriage. Let her study like her friends, let her give an opportunity to prove herself”. Gita’s brother too was convinced that marriage against her wishes would not bring happiness. 

After few days Gita went to her college and was excited to learn that she could continue her studies from where she left. She is now studying hard to make up for the lost time. It is undeniable that the courage and conviction Gita exhibited to stop early marriage will inspire other girls to psyche up and stand up for themselves.